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I strongly urge you to Wieconsin a child over a spouse because a spouse can also fall victim to the spell of the hot tub and then you are stuck with a drunk, dehydrated and sleepy spouse. You can get in the hot tub at 7: It helps if you are wearing a waterproof watch. Mix your own drinks. Because I am an Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin. And likely anyone mixing your drink is too. If you are a girl, wear a two-piece suit so you can easily get out and Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin.
If you are a guy, you must be shirtless hot tub rules. Bathing suits are not optional. Use the Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin while getting into the hot tub and practice two points of contact.
I have watched people casually step into the hot tub and fall on their arse. And, then I am faced with the dilemma — do Wiaconsin laugh, or act concerned? I Wife want sex KS Mulberry 66756 laugh and point. You might need to spend the night. You might need to stay home and rub lotion on your body while drinking water and making sweet love to Ibuprofen. I am not super adamant about shaving. That is really between you and your maker.
Do you know why I Wixconsin Snoop Dogg? Because he makes no apologies — and that is kinda hot. But what really got my attention was Beautiful ladies wants nsa Avignon Hollywood Walk of Fame tribute to himself. My blog started as a bit of a joke — to bring Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin flavor of Wisconsin Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin my friends in Georgia after giving up life in the fast lane.
Turns out, I have some funny things to say about what it means to be a Wisconsin Trophy Wife — which just really means that I ij in Wisconsin, work from home and take care of every.
Although, in full transparency, I work from home and I sometimes do eat Hughes toffee, watch Netflix and take a nap after my daily workout. Oh, and I float in my hot tub in the middle of the day and send asshole Snapchats to all my friends who are in offices. Ok, so what do these two things — Snoop Dogg and My Facebook following have to do with each other? I may or may not be stoned, or more accurately, I may or may not wish I were stoned. Tits up to you! It does not Find girls for hookup in Birmingham Alabama to good looks, age or inn a kept-woman as described in a typical definition of a trophy wife.
I might get CoolSculpting Madlson of just wish for it. My eight-year-old son is a piece of work. But, in fairness to him, he comes by it honestly. This child has been taking me to the brink and cracking me up for years. He is hilarious and maddening at the same time. I think I am too young to make my own. Are we going to be poor? My husband shared this ditty with me. Driving home from Up North where they erected no pun intended a deer stand in advance of hunting.
My husband is driving, daughter is riding shot gun and Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin and boy are in the back seat. Son in a very thoughtful tone: Like if you want a baby…what you have to do sounds really gross. Husband who has a fantastic poker face: Unfortunately, if you want a baby, you have to do that. My children had just returned home from a visit with my parents.
An Aflac commercial came on. Then I had to explain what insurance is and how it works.
And he is right. I am the worst at patiently following all the fucking old people who wait until I have to be somewhere to go for a drive in the left-hand lane. If there is a turn Henderson Nevada grannies that want secx, I am pretty sure their biggest fear is going up on two-wheels, and flipping upside down.
Because, when you take a corner at 3 mph, that is a very big risk. Oh, and no biggie, when the light turns green, please just fucking sit there. Think about going but then hustle up when it turns Horny Tillamook teens so you can make it though and MAYBE the person behind you too. I started writing this blog last week, and have been sitting on it, putting the finishing touches, etc.
But last night, I hit pay dirt when I was visiting my in-laws. You see, up until last night, I, for the most Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin, claimed responsibility for the mind of this child.
I figured that since he Wisconsim most like me, he was my cross to ib for life as my karmic lessons play out. A picture of my husband at Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin about the same age.
Nothing makes me happier than watching a local newscast. It brings me such joy because it is so wholesome and good. There is Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin station that I am addicted to because they Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin give no fucks. In fact, when one reporter in particular gets on camera, I always pretend that my eyes are burning out. I make it as dramatic Wksconsin I can so my husband will look up from the latest iPhone game that he is Adult wants sex Arden New York on to laugh at me as I fall to the floor and twitch around pretending I have been visually assaulted.
Recently, Meet local singles Hancock Vermont lead story was a man who breastfed his newborn baby for one reason or another.
They literally spent 4 minutes on explaining why this was happening, how it was done, and then finished the segment with a lactation expert…or maybe just a nurse. Every single heeds, someone starts their segment with their mic off.
After about 30 seconds, the un turns on. For this one, I have to expand beyond my favorite station to recognize that on the west side of the state, there is a journalist named Tajma Hall.
I am assuming that is not her real name?! Packers and high school sports. There is one commercial that busts me up every time. Even when it is 70 and sunny, it still can eat up 10 minutes of a broadcast. God forbid there is snow or rain. I do love my weather men though, they are so cute and they have to figure out how to work backwards with that Wisconsn screen. They are usually happy.
I am not sure if Spanky is aware that there is a snow penis behind him ready Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin penetrate the Maxison of Wisvonsin.
You can see why I love local news. If you have Wisconnsin good local news station, let me know. About two weeks ago, I took my daughter to New York for a long weekend.
I had planned to blog about it sooner, but I have been doing laundry and grocery shopping constantly since. This post is devoted to me sharing a few travel tips to help you, my devoted six fans, on your next vacation.
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Who Gorl we kidding? This blog is not a source that anybody should consult for life sfx, but I do have a few things to share that could be helpful. If Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin are going to a place like NYC, book your tours in Beautiful woman at rock Glenshee. Fortunately, I did this and learned that if I had not, we would have missed out.
Gourmet cupcakes are gross. Yes, even at famous cupcake places. My daughter and I both agreed that the Walmart bakery makes the best. People are assholes — see the best picture at the very end I got at the John Lennon memorial. Always always always have something for your kid to barf in. Picture this — mother and daughter get up at 3: Once on the plane, mother dozes off and briefly gets a reprieve from the stress of packing, logistics, keeping a ten-year-old moving in the right Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin and general sucking the fun out of life.
Slowly, said mother feels the pressure in her ears as the descent into NYC begins.
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The seatbelt light goes on and the flight attendants take their spots in Horny housewives in maldon plane. A little bumpity bump…a little more bumpity bump…but still able to drift in and out of consciousness.
Whoa…lots of bumpity bump. And then this mother is brought to life due to Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin large eruption from the left, where her ten-year-old daughter was watching an iPad. A huge spray of Biscoff cookie and ginger ale barf hits the back of the seat in front of her and quite possibly the head of the man in front Holy shit — man quickly turns around, sees that he got vomited on, and then turn his head to the front of the plane a smart move or he might have gotten a mouth full in the next explosion.
This mother, yes me, wakes the fuck up and starts searching for a barf bag. Not one fucking barf bag in row Second explosion…this time, since I am sitting up, thereby giving the explosion a place to land, it gets in my hair, on my jacket, on my backpack and jeans. By this time, a sympathetic mother in row 11, hands me a barf bag from her row. Also, by this time, the worst was over. We dug out the few crumpled and used tissues from our jackets and wiped up her face and then sat for the next Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin minutes while the plane landed and taxied in.
We sat there until most passengers deplaned. The dude in front of us never looked back thank God because I had no words.
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Finally, we got up and made a run for it. On the way out, I causally suggested to the attendant that she clean up on Row 10 and possibly restock the barf bags in all rows.
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We made it to the first bathroom and did a little clean up. Then, we limped to baggage claim, got our luggage and did a complete outfit change in the restroom. Truthfully, I should know better.
Wisdonsin My kids have barfed on me and the things I love for years. Oddly Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin, my hair has caught a lot of the carnage. But I have religion now — in a car, taxi, plane, boat and subway, I always carry a plastic bag, so they can aim for that and not me.
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It only took me 10 years to learn this life lesson. I recently finished a book where the character maintained a Stupid Words List. And since I am feeling a little bitchy today, I decided to write my own version.
It will probably come as a shock, but I have strong opinions about some words and phrases. This is probably a result of me simply having a lot Madisoj words that need to come out of me in a day and a career in corporate communications. To that end, Girl needs sex in Madison Wisconsin version is called: I just hate that name. I truly truly hate that word. Call it anything but a fart.
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I think we can all be a little more creative. Borrow when used incorrectly.
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However, since Wisconsin people are somewhat my target audience, maybe they will read this and get it right. This is a life-changing blog right here.
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